After my last blog I have had many people ask me how I can forgive not only the person that abused me but the friends that did not stand by me. It is not easy. In fact today, as I have struggled now for almost a full week with my pinched nerve in my neck causing severe headache pain, numbness down my arm, and effecting my vision, I have really struggled with wanting to take back my forgiveness because in my mind they do not deserve it. It is a constant reminder (If I let it be) of every beating I took which for some reason always seemed to be on the left side of my body, including my face.
We are human, and forgiving is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you were not in the wrong. However, Jesus keeps pointing me back to Mark 11:25. If I do not forgive these people, sometimes it is on a daily basis I have to condition my heart back to forgive, then Jesus will not forgive me of my sins. Ouch, that to me is far more painful to accept than anything else I have dealt with. I sin every single day, I do not mean to, but I am human and regardless of how closely I walk with Jesus, I still sin and I want forgiveness from Him.
I have struggled with this for many years now. This morning on Focus on the Family this lady gave the second part to her testimony in which she also talked about the importance of forgiveness.
Regardless what you have been through, you will not have peace in your heart until you forgive everyone, even if they are the ones that should apologize.
I remember looking back and letting God know if He would JUST bring me out of that horrible situation I would live full on for Him, not ashamed to spread the gospel, not ashamed to do ANYTHING He has asked me to.
Today, I was talking to my brother about forgiveness in another area of my life and how sometimes we have to try so hard to look beyond the wrong we feel was done to us. We have to move forward living the example of how Jesus loves. How can I say I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, but not extend that forgiveness to everyone?
Will I wake up tomorrow forgiving some of the same people all over again? I probably will, but that is exactly what I will do before I start praising and praying to Jesus because there is nothing I desire more than being the hands and feet of Jesus.
Below is also the link to Harmony House where you can donate and read more about the struggles of domestic violence.
In Matthew 6:14 it says “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses” ESV